5 Ways To Be Happy Single (Part 2)

Stop focusing on external validation.

This post continues where the first article ended on solo travel.

Solo Travel Continued

Learn From Others

You can learn from others when you talk to someone online, at a bar, or when you meet someone on a trip abroad. You can learn from another country’s culture and traditions when you travel abroad that are different from your home country. You can also learn from others you meet by having a conversation with other people whom you meet. They may tell you stories that you can learn from. They may say to you precisely what they regret doing in their life. They may also teach you valuable skills that you may later use in life. It is up to you whether you want to heed the life lessons and learn from others or learn things the hard way by learning them on your own.

Relationships

Romantic relationships get the most attention, but there are positive and negative relationships to be aware of on your journey to being happy and single.

External Validation

Relationships, no matter the type, are a form of external validation. Most people have friends so that they can do things that they don’t have to be alone. People seem to think that there is a problem with spending time alone. When you get validation from others, you may find yourself over-socializing. This will result in you spending less time learning hard skills and working on yourself.

Relationship With Yourself (Intrapersonal)

The most complicated relationship to have is with yourself. You know all your weaknesses, shortcomings, and regrets. If you cannot accept yourself, you continue to be hard on yourself. You continue to be your own worst enemy.

Once you shift the mindset to accepting yourself and having a relationship with yourself by knowing yourself, you begin to succeed. You can start to have a more positive outlook on life. You begin to feel better about yourself. You also start to feel less stressed about not being in a romantic relationship and embrace being single—a mindset in everything. Until you truly know and accept yourself, you remain stuck.

Friends

Friends are the family you can choose. It depends on whether they are good or bad friends. You want to surround yourself with people who share similar values and goals. This is harder because it requires time to build new relationships with people. It then takes time to maintain a relationship with friends.

This is part two of a six-part series. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack to have the following four sections sent directly to your Substack inbox!

Family

Family is a naturally built-in social connection that you have. While no family is perfect, it is often easier to have conversations with your family than to spend time getting to make a new friend.

Can you be happy single? Let us know in the comments below!

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Views expressed in this article are the author's opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment, financial, or legal advice. Consult with a financial or legal professional before making an investment or legal decision. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). It is now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon.