7 Helpful Tips On How Saying No Will Make You Get Your Life Back
People pleasing keeps you stuck. Say no and get your life back!
Are you a people pleaser?
Saying no is awkward. It’s a life skill that gets easier with practice.
I was a people pleaser throughout my twenties. I cared more about what people thought about me. It took me some time to learn to tell people no.
I got my time back once I began to say no. You can do the same.
Be Clear And Direct
Avoid responses like "I'll think about it" or "Maybe."
A vague response allows someone to follow up with you. It adds pressure to not stick to your decision.
Instead, tell someone, "I appreciate the offer, but I'll pass," or "I can't today."
Stop being nice all the time. Be clear and direct with people.
A straightforward approach helps you get your time back.
People will respect you since they know that you're busy.
Acknowledge Someone's Request
Show gratitude when someone asks you for help.
You can say something like:
"Thanks for thinking of me."
"I'm honored you asked."
Acknowledging someone's request softens your rejection. It shows that you value the other person. They understand why you cannot help.
Don't worry about what others think when you decline.
Use Powerful “I” Statements
Frame your responses around your:
Calendar
Goals
Limitations
Needs
Priorities
Don't build your life around other people and their requests.
You'll become known as a people pleaser. People will manipulate and use you.
Manipulators know they can get away with it. People pleasers don't stand up for themselves.
I had a former best friend in college. He would boss me around and tell me what to do. I let him get away with it. I eventually ended the friendship. I learned to stop being passive and to tell people no more often.
Tell people that "I have other commitments right now" or “I'm unavailable."
I statements are powerful. It signals to others that you have made a decision.
Offer An Alternative
Suggest an alternative course of action or solution to show others you care.
You can say, "I'm unable to do this right now, but I could help out for a few minutes."
You won't overextend yourself. You're being realistic with someone.
Embrace the power of saying no to people!
Set Clear Boundaries
Set clear boundaries and stick to them.
Build boundaries for your personal and work life. Boundaries tell people what they can and cannot do.
Boundaries are not restrictions. Having clear boundaries is freedom. Boundaries help you better focus on what matters most to you.
Consistent boundaries signal to others that you respect yourself and others.
Practice Saying No
It’s intimidating telling people no.
Start small with people you don't interact with:
Say no to an upsell when you go out to eat.
Say no when an acquaintance from church invites you to a social event.
Say no when your colleagues invite you to happy hour after work.
You'll grow in confidence. You'll recognize that people don't care when you say no. They'll end up doing what they have planned anyway.
Saying no shows others that you value your time and schedule.
Remind Yourself That “No” Is Not Selfish
It's not selfish to say no.
When you say no to certain activities and people, you:
Focus on your well-being.
Focus on what matters the most to you.
Get your energy back.
Protect your time.
Save more money.
You only have so much time in a day. You only have so many days left to live. Saying no gives you your life back.
Focusing on your needs, growth, and happiness is healthy and responsible.
Summary
Being a people pleaser prevents you from getting things done. Take back your life by saying no.
Start today by saying no to someone.
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Disclaimer: This content is for educational, entertainment, and informational purposes only. Always consult a pro before making major life, financial, and legal decisions.